Mean Girl Phenomenon

Mean Girl Phenomenon, also known as relational aggression, is a survival tactic for people who are insecure, immature, jealous, egotistical, and yes, narcissistic. It can be described as covert or indirect aggression or bullying in which harm is caused through damage to relationships or social status within a group, rather than through physical violence[1].

Mean Girl Phenomenon often goes unnoticed by parents, educators, and even society in general. One of the problems is, the people you least expect it from, fall into this category.

Tweens, teens and young adults that participate in relational aggression are often able to manipulate others and it go undetected by society. In fact, some are so cunning, that no one would ever suspect them of hurting others and sometimes very shocked by it. You know that person, the one that smiles, is overly nice to you, listens to all your problems and then stabs you in the back by using it against you. It's gossiping or emotional bullying with a negative intent.

Research shows that one of the top reasons’ girls engage in relational aggression is to establish or maintain their social status. Girls will use relational aggression to socially isolate someone while increasing their own social status. They also do this to protect their reputation or get the jump on someone else. They collect the data they need and use it when it most fits their needs.

As you would expect, relational aggression is associated with cognitive aspects of social intelligence, whereas overt aggression by lack of social skills[2].

[1] Doyle, McLoughlin: Do Science and Common Wisdom Collide or Coincide in their Understanding of Relational Aggression? in Frontiers in Psychology – 2010. See here.
[2] Andreou et al: Social Preference, Perceived Popularity and Social Intelligence: Relations to Overt and Relational Aggression in School Psychology International - 2016